• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Store
  • ION Awards
  • Podcasts
  • Full Measure
    • Full Measure Cover Stories
  • Donate
  • Bestseller "Slanted"

Sharyl Attkisson

Untouchable Subjects. Fearless, Nonpartisan Reporting.

  • US
  • World
  • Business
  • Health
    • Vaccine, Medical links
    • Omicron Lab Origin
    • Covid-19 Origins
    • Covid-19 Natural Immunity
    • Covid-19 Vaccine Concerns Summary
    • Covid-19 Vaccine: 80 Common Adverse Events
  • The Censored
  • Special Investigations
    • Attkisson v. DOJ
    • Media Mistakes, Biden Era
    • Media Mistakes on Trump
    • Other investigations
      • Benghazi
      • "Collusion v. Trump" TL
      • Election 2020
      • Fake News
      • Fast & Furious
      • Obamacare
      • Obama Surveillance TL
      • Other investigations
      • Ukraine 'Sabotage' of Trump TL

Granny's sayings: A nostalgic trip down memory lane

Dated: November 28, 2019 by Sharyl Attkisson 6 Comments

      

Many of us on Twitter recently began sharing old sayings and phrases. It was so much fun, I decided to compile some of them here for easy reading. I didn't get to copy all of them, but there are quite a few.

Enjoy!

Who sneezed with their eyes open and they blew out of their head?

...or whose facial expression got "stuck that way...?"

Wife's mother told her ears would permanently protrude if she kept tucking her hair behind them.

Whose eyes crossed and got stuck?

Hey it happens. You just have to pre-plan your own gene pool to get the required syndrome. Easy-peasy lemon squeasy.

If you break your leg, don't come running to me.

"I'll wash your mouth out with soap"

What happened to your mother's back when you stepped on a crack?

Watching too much to would turn your eyes into raisins

Mother knows best!

My father used "pipe" too. I prefer when he would say:

" You like apples? How do you like them apples?"

— Jeff D. Aumer (@aumer_d) November 28, 2019

Technically, it's "How ya like dem apples?"

Me: climbing tree Mom: freak out Dad: "If you fall and break your leg don't come running to me."

I got one for u..who is the original Smart Alick?

— Cindy (@Cindy525469) November 28, 2019

I Don't Know...Whatda Mean Ya Don't Know...

LOL. With every safety rule that's out there, some fool had to do it first, and the rest of us suffer for it.

I heard about those guys from a bunch of surgeons.

My sister-in-law's father always carefully explained to her that smoking actually killed the germs in you.

Who knew? On the other hand, he did live into his 90's - puffing away, to the end.

Probably the same guy that ruined ladders for the rest of us... pic.twitter.com/V582uvkplF

— Stephen (@EigenstateX) November 28, 2019

He died from the splinter left in his finger, that traveled into his bloodstream and up to his heart. My ancient grandmother had us believing that one, until my Dad one day heard her, started laughing and told her to quit with the old wive's tales.

I had emergency surgery cuz I ran through the house and a sewing needle broke off in my foot. ER doc laughed, โ€œWhat makes you think itโ€™s in there?โ€ โ€œIt moves.โ€ X-ray Emergency surgery

Who actually caught a cold with wet hair?

Who actually caught a cold with wet hair?

We should just take all the warning labels off of everything and let it all sort itself out!

My husband still follows that rule๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

— @nothinbutluv (@WinkanaSmile) November 28, 2019

My husband still follows that rule.

Although I have known a few whose grumpy expression โ€œgot stuck that wayโ€ and wondered if their dear mother forgot to warn them about that possibility.

Support EMS, run with scissors

Dunno but Lisa Giddings really did het her toung stuck to the freezing cold light pole.

Who went blind? And would he do it again?

The same guy whoโ€™s face stuck that way

Al. His name was Al. pic.twitter.com/2PTTJf5QA3

— Steve Stalock (@StalockSteve) November 28, 2019

And that kid whose face stuck that way!

Can't go swimming for an hour after eating

Who is the kid that stopped crying when his mom said if you donโ€™t stop Iโ€™ll give you something to cry about?

Follow me on Twitter @SharylAttkisson

...or whose facial expression got โ€œstuck that way...?โ€

...and who fell and โ€œbroke his neck...?โ€

I got one for u..who is the original Smart Alick?

The same guy who went swimming right after eating.

keep stretching your mouth and it will stay like that!

Its all eyes and games until someone gets their fun poked out...

Same, stupid, eyeless, person,

I might not be here today if not for the 4 warning labels on my pillow.

Kelsey Grammer is still alive isn't he? pic.twitter.com/hFXlMEWTpo

— Don Scotter (@sdcoyote73) November 28, 2019

Someone like my brother who went running across the yard holding a toy rifle and ended up with it protruding through the side of his cheek.

Oh, you mean 'Lefty' and 'Holey Joe'?

It's almost like catching cold.

The cousin to this woman.https://t.co/SZrVdfrnFr

— Chris ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ (@HeliJoc) November 28, 2019

I had a friend put his eye out at the driving range! Ball shot straight up and back at him, blinded him!

We got to be around the same age- Iโ€™m pretty sure I know what was in that pipe

— Andrew Denney (@1219ddenney) November 28, 2019

For ridiculous people. ...the second Tuesday of next week.

My grandmother used to say sheโ€™d rather go fishing than eat when sheโ€™s hungry.

If it was a snake it would have bit you. When I couldn't find something right next to me

"Baked into a pie."

From Jersey: "What do you want, egg in your beer"?

I would think; 'time to burn the midnight oil' would have been used a lot in college.

My Dad used to say โ€œIf you had a brain youโ€™d be dangerousโ€

โ€œRun that up your flagpole and salute itโ€

โ€œI was mortified!โ€

My dad used to tell me โ€œBoy!! Iโ€™ll knock a knot on your head and dare it to rise!โ€

"How does that grab you?"

I am 1 of 9 kids, my Mom would say โ€œput a egg in your shoe and beat itโ€ when we pestered her.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool, something to put in his mouth.

My grandfather emigrated from England and his advice to me no matter what I was doing was โ€œ Now be sure to watch your Pโ€™s and Qโ€™s.

My grandmother: โ€œThat makes me madder than seven kinds of thunder!โ€ and... โ€œThatโ€™s a treat instead of a treatment!โ€

Madder than a pole cat in a phone booth.

I've told you forty 'leven times...

That food's so good it will make your tongue slap your brains out.

I'll knock the taste out of your mouth.

โ€œYou can put your boots in the oven but that donโ€™t make em biscuits.โ€

— TestaDuda (@TestaDuda) November 28, 2019

My mother would say, "my right eye is twitching" when she thought I was up to something. No idea what she meant.

Writing them is far more valuable than remembering silently. My mother's grandmother married a defector from the Confederacy, suffered loneliness as he was held in a Conf. POW camp, and lost her father and brother to Conf. terrorism. She lost her sight and raised her family.

Pretty is as pretty does. Also my mom, donโ€™t cry over spilled milk.

A friend of my Mom used to say " Whenever somebody offers to do you a favor....run like hell!"

My grandmother would say, "Now's the time to eat" when she had finished preparing the meal and we all sat time to eat. Alongside her was the wooden spoon.

"Sheryl Sheryl strong and able, get your elbows off the table. This is not a horse's stable, but a first class dining table."

Patience petunia

My Dad would always say โ€œDonโ€™t talk so much, you might learn somethingโ€.

Nothing to be learned in the second kick of the mule.

When you eat soup โ€œLike little ships that go out to sea I dip my spoon away from meโ€

My Mamaw (Grandmother) would say "you sweep around your back door and I will sweep around mine". That was her way of saying mind your own business!

As for music, the bad goes in the spit-tune.

My granny would sometimes get fed up and say โ€œ Son of a Pup !โ€

If you donโ€™t have something nice to say, donโ€™t say anything at all. Moms know everything, because we have eyes behind our heads.

My momโ€™s advice on complaining about things you cannot change: โ€œYou may as well save your breath to blow your coffee.โ€

My grandpa, watching my grandma prepare at the holidays, use to tell us all before we ate our meal, in Spanish, โ€œa home isnโ€™t built on the grown, itโ€™s built on a womanโ€. Grandma would always add โ€œa tired oneโ€

Grandmother...โ€Only boring people are bored.โ€

Hereโ€™s one particularly good for today. When cautioning us about not thinking before speaking, sheโ€™d say, โ€œThoughts unspoken can fall back dead. God Himself canโ€™t stop them once theyโ€™re said.โ€

My dad used to say something i don't quite remember... smile or your face'll freeze like that? SOmething like that

He also used to keep telling me that I "need to step up to the plate, young man!" which annoyed the shit out of me because I hate sports.

"Precious Memories" !

My motherโ€™s favorite saying was man oh man oh Manischewitz!

It is the average man that learns from his mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others, and it is the damn fool that makes the same mistakes over and over again. Dated and sexist, but still true.

My grandfather would hold the door open and say โ€œdirt before the broomโ€ as I walked past when I was little. Iโ€™d catch it and look back to his knowing smirk . I miss that man.

My momโ€™s favorite sayingโ€”โ€œThis too shall pass.โ€

โ€œGod gave you two eyes, two ears, and one mouth, because you should look and listen twice before you speakโ€ Martin Vandenburg โ€œA wise man understands how little he really knowsโ€œ Wilhelmina Vandenburg Love you and miss you both Mom and Dad.

โ€œThe man who sells apples eats apples for lunch"

My great-great grandmother, around age 75 or so and after raising a horde of kids, would say โ€œI was born this way, whatโ€™s your excuse?โ€. Sadie Teson, God Bless her soul...

Also grandma - โ€œthere is always someone better off than you and someone worse off than you, donโ€™t judge either.โ€

Didn't have a lot to piss in or a window to throw it out. There is some history to this saying. Tanneries used pee to tan hides. But people during the depression were so poor the didn't have a lot to sell their pee.

Don't have two nickels to rub together.

Those convinced against their will Are of the same opinion still.

Put your mind in gear before putting your mouth in motion.

My Gramp would say โ€œ You cannot polish Sh*t.โ€

"The boy doesn't know shit from Shynola"

My grandmother once said that shit wouldn't smell so bad if it wasn't stirred

Tighter (with money) than bark on a tree.

My Moms favorite, sh&t or get off the pot.

Problems are like laundry on the clothesline; weโ€™ll ALWAYS choose ours because we know them.

My Mom used to say โ€œyou pays your money, you takes your choiceโ€

Heโ€™s so crooked heโ€™d swallow a nail and pass a screw ...

โ€œTired of living, scared of dyingโ€

He's so crooked, you have to screw him in the ground when he dies.

Grandpa, to end a conversation " you are beating a dead horse "

โ€œNever fight a pig in the mudโ€

Grandpa used to always say "That's slicker than cow snot on a doorknob".

My grandmother โ€œdo what makes you happy, nobody is getting out of this life alive so be happy while youโ€™re here.โ€ Also โ€œonly whores and little girls wear red shoes.โ€ Southern belle wisdom. Lol

I will slap the pee water out of you. Granny never cussed.

Quit picking your nose or youโ€™ll get worms!

You are not ready to live until youโ€™re ready to die!

On my Dads side, "Hard to kill a German, they're made of piss and vinegar"

Sounds better than the soap my granny used to shove in our mouths. That's what I get for coming home from the 5th grade with the F word.

Even libs will like this one: waste not, want not.

When we were being bad my grandma would say Iโ€™m gonna whoop your dickens. Never knew exactly what that entailed.

Heavens to Betsy Who's Betsy? Bald headed baby Jesus

My Grandpa always said, "You don't get time, you make time". Truer words never spoken..

My Dad : When all else fails read the directions

My grandpa used to tell me heโ€™d separate my habits from my ideas.

Never Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.

"Nothing washing dishes can't cure." Grandmother

My grandma used to tell me โ€œDonโ€™t pee on thatโ€.

My Dad said, I've had worse than that on my lip and never stopped whistling, and keep on crying and I'll give you something to cry ABOUT.

My momma, when she's trying to reconcile with someone, says she's " mending fences".

My mom, 91, favorite saying, "Old age ain't for sissy's."

My mom said of people full of themselves (if unsure just refer to some of those swell diplomats working at State that testified last week) โ€œ My, heโ€™s very important with himselfโ€.

โ€œYouโ€™re a gentleman and a scholarโ€

Grandma about Grandpa โ€œhe can squeeze a nickel until the buffalo shi*s"

Beware and don't take any wooden nickles.

— Edwin Wilcher (@WilcherEdwin) November 28, 2019

And in South Africa , In Afrikaans, this phenomenon, i.e. when it rains and the sun shines, the traditional belief is Jakkals trou met wolf se vrou, meaning 'Jackal marries wolf's wife'.

For cryin out loud.

because she burnt the biscuits.

What gets me about that is... the *devil* _married_?

Well, I'll be jiggered.

Jesus take the wheel!

In Fiji, among the Indian community, it's "a mongoose wedding is happening."

Yep, over yonder.

An itchy right hand means money is coming your way.

When a thunderstorm rolled in, shed tell me to 'Put the dog in the back room'. She was convinced dogs attracted lightning, lol

Now we're cooking with gasoline!

Explaining how the cow ate the cabbage. Can't get blood from a turnip.

If there is thunder "the devil is bowling."

โ€œIโ€™ll be riding Shanks mareโ€ (It means to walk)


      
[the_ad id="17661"]

About Sharyl Attkisson

Emmy-Award Winning Investigative Journalist, New York Times Best Selling Author, Host of Sinclair's Full Measure

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stan W. says

    November 29, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    There's an old regional expression that's a favorite: "Thet boy nevah wuz right. They's somethin' wrong with his jeans (genes).

    Reply
  2. Sunflower says

    November 29, 2019 at 5:03 pm

    Granny used to say during loud thunder โ€œit's just the tater wagon.โ€

    Reply
  3. Sunflower says

    November 29, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    Here's two more Granny-isms.
    Granny used to say this to the grandchild she thought was being โ€œdevilishlyโ€ naughty, โ€œIโ€™ll tie a knot in your tailโ€ and warned โ€œYouโ€™ll get your tail caught in a crackโ€.

    Reply
  4. bobdog says

    December 1, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    For all you doubters about your face "getting stuck that way", I give you John Brennan....

    Reply
  5. TruthSeeker55 says

    December 2, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    "Bless Her (or His) Heart"
    A polite Southern phrase meaning that the person doesn't have a clue, and has no chance of finding one.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Coming Soon

The Bad Shirts: High-Quality, Wearable Humor

The Sharyl Attkisson Store

Buy Great, Original Products & Support Independent Journalism

Subscribe

Get the Latest Stories Straight to Your Inbox

SUBSCRIBE TO SHARYL’S RUMBLE CHANNEL


Follow Sharyl Attkisson

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube



Footer

Pages

  • Home
  • About
  • Podcast
  • Support
  • Contact

Sitemap

2ndary Pages

  • Full Measure Stations
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Newsletter
  • Returns & Refunds Policy

SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS

  • Attkisson v. DOJ/FBI
  • Benghazi
  • Election 2020
  • Fake News
  • Fast & Furious
  • Obamacare

Copyright © 2023 ยท Log in