(FORUM) Fluid Gender Norms & Goals

The following is commentary intended for discussion. Add your comments.

If you’re confused about the controversies, policies, and insistences surrounding gender– I think it’s with good reason.

Let me start by saying that I personally advocate for fair, kind and equal treatment for all (excluding, of course, evil, hateful, criminal behavior, etc.). As I’ve traveled the world, I’ve discovered America is better at this than most any other place I know.

To step back for a minute, when I grew up decades ago, I was the generation that knew women could do and be most anything! We were already doctors, prime ministers and other world leaders, astronauts, pop stars, engineers, math champs, you name it. (Well, there was one thing we couldn’t be, at the time: a man.)

So it surprised me and left me a bit confused when I began hearing many women, in the past decade or so, talk about all the discrimination that supposedly exists against women today. I began hearing women telling their daughters how the world is holding them back. I watch and listen to young women who record videos today and talk about wanting to ‘prove to their daughters that they can do anything, even be a doctor!’

Weird, because we knew that 50 years ago.

What, or who, is making women today feel as though none of that ever happened? What or who is teaching them that things are like they were before they became like they became in the 70s?

Here’s another confusing thing. Part of the stated goal by some (way-back-when) was for women to be seen as the same as men, for the purposes of capabilities. In other words: don’t ‘see’ her gender.

There was even an academic school of thought that the only difference between girls and boys is the way we raise them. If we raised them the same, went the theory, there would basically be no behavioral or capability differences. In other words, give toy trucks to girls and dolls to boys and you can make a girl just like a boy or a boy just like a girl. It’s all in the environment, we were told.

But at the same time, some of the same people also advocated celebrating women solely for their gender… the ‘first woman’ this, or the ‘first women’ that.

Which is it? Are we to be blind to a person’s gender, or are we to be keenly aware of, and make decisions based on, her gender?

Adding to the confusion are transgender trends. We are to accept people for whomever they are (which I agree with, to the extent we’re not talking about killers, criminals, self-harming, etc.); but some of the people we are to accept are unaccepting of themselves– seeking to make radical life changes to align their biological sex with what they think they ought to be. They are males who believe they feel like what they imagine a woman must feel like, or women who believe they feel what they imagine a man must feel like. But weren’t we told there was no real difference between the genders, beyond social construct?

And I’m not advocating for this but asking the question: if a male believes he feels like a woman, why isn’t he simply a male with certain feelings within a range of feelings… rather than someone who feels so compelled to have others think of him as a woman that he will have radical elective surgery and medical treatments that, until not long ago, were considered mutilation and possibly abuse?

Also, some activists have long insisted people stay out of each other’s bedrooms (i.e. not care about who they sleep with). Today, there seems to be pretty widespread agreement on that point. But now, some, instead, want to invite everyone into their bedrooms and be celebrated for their sexual behavior– but only if it’s not the behavior of the majority. The majority are not to speak of being proud of the way they are. That would be hateful.

Which is it? Are we to not care about people’s bedroom lives, or are we to celebrate certain sexual behavior? Isn’t that, in a way, singling out people rather than accepting them as ‘the same’?

Is gender utterly unimportant… or so important that, today, ‘misgendering’ a man who feels like a woman or vice versa is a crime punishable by banishment from some social media, friendships and jobs?

Lastly, the discussion has grown so loud and, at times, heated, are we failing to ask important big questions? If so many people are truly confused about their gender, or mismatched to their birth gender, what has caused this trend inside of a generation? Scientists teach us that such quick shifts are not due to genetic causes, but something in the environment (i.e. air, water, food, medicine, pollutants, radiation, pesticides, poisons…) So what thing or combination of things are we doing that could be causing this?

Are some of the forces that are pushing people to changes their biological sex, and bullying those who differ on the approach, part of industries that could be responsible for some of the exposures causing the unusual trends? Could the vitriol and division be stoked by these interests as a diversion so we dare not ask the hard questions about causation?

What do you think?

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31 thoughts on “(FORUM) Fluid Gender Norms & Goals”


    Totally agree. I read some articles that state certain chemicals can cause this. Homosexuals and lesbians have always been, but these ‘trans’ are a very recent fenomenon. I hope those that want to undergo the surgery read the message from one man who did, and left his comments. They were not nice. He described the surgery, which was not as presented, and he wished he had known ahead, he would not have done it. Thank you for your honest report.

  2. Well said! Those are many of the same questions I’ve also pondered, but the way you’ve expressed them in a concise and cohesive argument that makes the questions so obviously simple. They’re such honest and sincere questions, yet asking them is forbidden–lest becoming a “hater”. It’s so sad that we’ve lost the ability for healthy debate where we can learn from one another and find common ground.

    Praying for this upcoming generation. Puberty is a confusing time and kids will be far more confused.
    Thanks for all you do!

  3. The man-hating victimology of second, third, and fourth wave feminism has implanted in American women’s minds that they are irredeemable victims for half a century. They are taught in women’s studies courses in universities across the country that all of human history is the story of a vast conspiracy by evil, patriarchal males plotting to oppress women and deny them opportunities. This dangerously reductive view of history is the natural consequence of college and graduate students reading pretentious pseudo-intellectuals like Foucault rather than legitimate historians and anthropologists like Jane Harrison and Sir James George Frazer, or brilliant, learned philosophers like Freud, Jung, and Russell. I personally identify with the spirit of first wave feminism, that glorious movement beginning with the Seneca Falls Convention of 1848, peaking with the passage of the 19th Amendment granting American women suffrage in 1920, and the 1920s and 1930s during which brilliant women like Amelia Earhart, Lauren Bacall, Katharine Hepburn, Bette Davis, and Dorothy Parker, women who admired men and simply wanted a chance to compete and achieve on an equal playing field with them, held themselves to the same standards of excellence as men and achieved supremacy in their respective fields. That, to me, is real feminism.

    For elucidation of the transgender mania, read “Cynical Theories” (2020) by James Lindsay and Helen Pluckrose. Read “Foucault” (1985) by Jose Guilherme Merquior. The transgender hysteria is rooted in the postmodernist denial of science and any objective, cognizable truth about human nature or life. In practice, I find everything about transgender theories in praxis to be misogynistic and homophobic because the effect of its real-life application is the erasure of women, gay men and lesbians.

    Gay men and lesbians do not want people invited into their bedrooms — that’s absurd. Nor do they want to be celebrated for their private sexual behaviors. These pride parades and other events are tedious exercises in countering homophobia. When gay men and lesbians say they are proud of being gay, that’s code for “I won’t tolerate homophobia.”

    1. I wanted to add that the practical application of feminist principles in society are, imo, directly to blame. Philosophically, there are bad principles and teachers just as there are good ones, but in the application there is a lot of collateral damage that hasn’t been examined or whose study or publication hasn’t been permitted.

  4. Richard Sinnott

    I agree with Sharyl completely!

    This recent controversy about gender and the rest is nonsense, and it does seem to have a certain malignant quality to it.

  5. Thank you Sheryl for for writing on this timely post. Causation needs to be discussed. Could there be a spiritual side as the world becomes more amoral and confused and then anything is acceptable. We have not tackled or figured out the roots of mass shooters of children, another mind boggling tragedy, hard to understand.

  6. Generations have been groomed with the communist goal of tearing apart the family and making people dependent on government. Getting women into the workplace was a key component of that goal. Wrapping it as a women’s rights issue made everyone not question the goal.

    The sexual exploitation of children is a goal in that it creates obedient comrades. Children no longer see right from wrong. As it is said, if they can make you believe absurdities then they can make you do atrocities. Homosexuality is an easy sell as the primary feature of it is acceptance. Homosexuals accept anyone, and who better to groom than children looking to be accepted.

    It is all about control: Control of women and children. The history of the Mensheviks vs Bolsheviks should be a required study on this subject.

  7. The whole world is upside down. 80-85% of us are afraid to “offend’ the other 15-20%.
    They are laughing at us as THEY set the agenda and want to be perceived as trendy and woke.
    Too bad they don’t have anything real to worry about like how to earn a living…
    Sharyl, keep up the good work.

  8. I believe Sharyl has hit on the problem. What is the causation of “trans” individuals? Why now, not 50 years ago? A woman at birth is a woman. A man at birth is a man, but if a person feels differently about themselves, and distinctly feels like different sex than their birth sex, what is causing this to burst upon the scene in the last few years. Chemicals in the air, water, or food are a possibility. Or is it a figment created by a particular group and posted on all social media to confuse and disrupt the maturation of our young?

    I feel that people should be allowed to express themselves peacefully if they give me the same latitude in expression.

  9. Thank you, Sharyl for writing on this topic. I have asked many of the same questions.
    There are so many hormone/endocrine disrupters in our foods, water, soil and air. Soy is a listed ingredient in many products and is not only an endocrine disrupter but one of the most chemically sprayed products on the market. Soy-based baby formula is popular. Beware and read labels.
    Yes, there have always been homosexuals and lesbians, many who I call friends but for heavens sake pick a side. Don’t ask me to agree to pronoun changes. You are a he or a she and if confused its simple, look at your genitals for the answer. Penis for men, vagina for women. Please use the genital appropriate restroom.

    Then there is the political agenda to divide and label us as racist if we disagree. The agenda encourages “fly your flag” showing your sexual preference to those driving by. Why do “they” have such an insatiable need to be noticed and given special privilege? Who cares what your gender or sexual preference may be as long as you are not harming anyone, especially children? I do not need to know about your preference. Take it back to the bedroom where it belongs folks, in private. Btw, do heterosexuals have a flag?

  10. Very well written.

    I stop at allowing doctors to mutilate children whether parents agree to their gender dysphoria or not. Those running things push for permanent changes to children done in the name of “acceptance”, should be punished. I will NEVER accept the medical establishment role in this disturbing permanent mutilzation. USA has no moral or ethical high ground. We used to oppose genital mutilaxation for Muslim religious rrquirements. Now we educate pur children they can be whatever they desire at age 5. It is a another crime against humanity involving our medical establishment.

  11. Considering the last three years and the historic global lockdowns(unnecessary) and faux pandemic that was promoted 24/7 by the PharMedia, gender distinctions and the deliberate “trans” con-fusion indicate that we had better identify the sources of evil ASAP. Trannys and drag queens have been around for ages–just not in our faces. The politicization of “gender” definitions are being used to create further divisions within society. I’m more considered by the emergence of the ‘Philanthropaths’ who are directing the world’s future course.

  12. I think you have encapsulated everything so well! Thank you!!! Never let the trolls and/or the gov’t spies keep you quiet!

    I am over 50 and as girls we knew we could do whatever we wanted to. My parents believed in education. We did not have money, as my father died when I was in high school, but we absolutely went to college. Borrowed money but survived. Worked part-time. Did not whine about eating Ramen or the school’s food & complain it should be free.

    The zeitgeist today both belligerent & terribly sad.

  13. Sharyl, your analysis is thought-provoking and probably puts into words the feelings and questions many people are having on this topic. It reminds me of what Condoleezza Rice said on The View once when she had some disagreement with what she saw as the victim mentality in some Black Lives Matter supporters. She said that she knows racism exists but that she grew up with her parents telling her that she could become anything she wanted to be if she worked hard for it, and that this was a more positive, empowering message. And this is similar to Bob Woodson’s views – to emphasize personal responsibility for outcomes, to work hard, to be inspired by success stories, etc. Unfortunately, views such as these, which seemed to be mainstream years ago, are now politicized and even here, you will find mostly agreement because your readers skew mainly in one direction. I happen to agree with all of it but just to test my opinions, I’d like to hear the answers and explanations from someone who disagrees. I might guess that they might say that we may have equality down on paper, but in reality, people who are not in the gender mainstream experience a lot of negative feedback, lack of opportunity and even violence. So they have to speak loudly for the ones who don’t have power or a voice. Personally, I think we shouldn’t concentrate on our differences and we should emphasize unity and understanding for other people. If we constantly set up us vs. them scenarios, it keeps it adversarial, whereas if we look at problems in a broader sense, such as discrimination in general, poverty, depression, struggles….without naming an endless slew of divisive indentifiers……then the problems become something that anyone can relate to. And if we all can relate to it and feel it’s part of the human experience, maybe we can be more accepting of each other.

  14. During her supreme court confirmation hearings, justice Ketanji Brown was asked to define a “woman“. In the process of refusing to do that she said that she knew she was a woman and Senator Blackburn is a woman. The obvious follow up question is, “How do you know that you and Senator Blackburn are women?”. Had she answered that question honestly, THAT would have made news. The effort to placate a very small but vocal section of our populace is to deny the obvious and needed roles that men and especially women play in society. If we start with the fact that they are both needed to perpetuate our very existence and we have the courage to say we believe in their obvious and necessary roles, we can acknowledge that the gender fluidity argument, like the emperor, has no clothes. If the proponents of that argument actually open up their eyes and we refuse to close ours we will move further from the insanity born of denying the obvious.

  15. Hi Sharyl,

    I think where there is a problem is that you are operating under the assumption that people believe in things such as standards and objective truths, but that is where the real disconnect is. This notion of objective underlying truth is increasingly becoming dismissed outright. Without this common bond, I do not know how any kind of conversation moves forward.

  16. Thank you, Sharyl. I couldn’t agree more! I recently spoke to a friend who’d suggested that young girls needed to be motivated toward “STEM” programs because they needed to be told that they could be anything they wanted to be. I said, “we knew that growing up. That’s 50 year-old news!” But at the same time, we’re telling our children there is no difference between men and women and whatever you “think” you are makes it so. Crazy! We’re harming our children: emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
    Those that harm children in these ways should go to prison.

  17. it’s an ugly, violent off-shoot of what once began as PC, combined with giving up merit as requirement for a job application. very good of you to bring this up honestly and unbiased!

  18. In addition to the many ideas presented by others, I propose that we “evolved” with a purpose – to survive – and that is fairly easy to survive in the modern age. Our toughest situations aren’t comparable to most of the historical record. People who aren’t fulfilled need something to “fight for or against” so gender, equity, or the issue de jour becomes the thing that drives them (and blinds them to any other viewpoint or reality). I met a missionary in Zambia and he said that the greatest difference between the people in the US and the native population there was that they were all generally happy because they had very strong gender roles. It was such a surprising thing to hear and has stuck with me. After all, what sometimes happens to a toddler if they’re given too many choices? They have a meltdown. Another thought is that many kids and adults don’t really have a moral compas – anything goes with the “me” mentality. Consequences for choices – positive and negative – are necessary for a functioning, respectful society.

  19. “They are males who believe they feel like what they imagine a woman must feel like, or women who believe they feel what they imagine a man must feel like.”

    This is beautifully put, as are the questions that follow.

    In my opinion, it’s in the culture, not the physical environment. The move from the Church/State narrative about political legitimacy moved from Feudalism to the notion of a State of sovereign people to the idea that the Individual is sovereign (USA) and collectively authorizes power to be exercised in that collective service has caused serious disruption.

    It appears that two narratives are in sharp conflict and there is an attempt to reconcile them. The first is the Post-Structuralism of France aka Postmodernism, with its notion that everything is subjective and that power exists only to empower those on top at the expense of those beneath, even including the doctor-patient relationship (Foucault). The other is the legitimacy of science. Some politicians seem to be borrowing liberally from both narratives to the degree that it empowers them and leaves them free from responsibility. Others are fighting this trend but have no narrative of their own that hasn’t been discredited to some degree or lost its power to be the obvious narrative to the masses.

    The Church, we were warned, would inflict damage on itself in a union with politics and that came to pass. It appears that science is about to make the same error.

  20. Man has forgotten God. It’s that simple. All the ills of our country and the world are the causation. God is Truth. God is Love. God is perfection. God is Mercy. We were made for happiness. No wonder anything short of God disappoints us.

  21. Seems like a balanced, fair and reasonable take, but twitter experts would call you a fascist for talking like that. Meanwhile we commonly hear stories about how our kids are being taught that if they don’t want to even consider dating a transgender person, they are showing hate toward lgbtqi+ people.

  22. “Today, there seems to be pretty widespread agreement on that point. But now, some, instead, want to invite everyone into their bedrooms and be celebrated for their sexual behavior– but only if it’s not the behavior of the majority. The majority are not to speak of being proud of the way they are. That would be hateful.”

    This is representative of total pretzel logic. Pass the duct tape.

    Thank you Sharyl.

  23. How can women achieve equality when they are being cancelled
    left and right? If a biological male declares himself a “woman” and
    replaces women from sports and their oppertunities, he is oppressing
    them. If he goes into their bathrooms and dressing rooms, he is
    oppressing them.
    Perverts have been known to take extradonary measures to peep at
    women. These are demented individuals and they are being ENABLED.
    The inmates are running the asylum.

  24. Let me first say I don’t care and don’t want to know about an adult’s gender or sexual preference. That should be something kept private and not pushed out into public view. I can’t answer the question of why today that the LGBTQ community which is a very small fringe group in our society being given such an open platform to air their laundry in public. I see it in the news constantly and of all places, our taxpayer-funded Public Broadcast Stations (PBS) are pushing it in their programming. I’m utterly confused with its emergence of late. If you are a grown adult you have every right to pursue what you desire in life but you do not have the right to push your views on others, especially our prepubescent children and adolescent children under any circumstances! Transgender transitioning should not be allowed to be initiated until the person is an adult and in my opinion, should be age 18 after they graduate high school and even as old as 25.
    You know most all children as they approach their teens and on into their teen years believe their parents just don’t understand what they are going through and some think their parents don’t know anything about to now generation. I know I went through that phase of life with some of those thoughts.
    Puberty is the physical and mental changes an adolescent body goes through as they change from childhood to adulthood. A very emotion-packed stage of development that doesn’t need outside influences to muddy the waters even further than the stage in itself has on a growing child. During this stage of development what should be passed on to children is that this is a physiological development every child goes through and they are not alone in their confusion of feelings. It is not a time to interject influences from outside sources that the feelings they are having is their body telling them they are not who they are and they should do something about it.
    A starting point of all this transgender nonsense is the introduction of pronouns to describe how you identify yourself. This is a very destructive tactic to confuse an already confused adolescent who is moving through puberty. A grooming tactic I still have not figured out why this is being allowed. It is happening in our public schools without the parents’ knowledge and this should be outlawed!
    This confusing time called puberty is a very good reason why these thoughts should not be introduced to children at this stage of development because their brains are not developed enough to make decisions about something that could very likely affect the rest of their lives and that they would regret as they grow into adulthood.
    Children/adolescents should not make up their own minds on what gender they WANT to be. Their brains are not developed enough to decide their fate. They will always be the biological sex they were born as so don’t encourage them to make decisions they will regret when they get older. This is a dangerous precedent taking place in today’s society, encouraged by some adults outside the home who are responsible for the well-being of our children. More and more I see transgenderism being pushed on our children who are not equipped to make weighty decisions like this at their age. The new pronoun BS is being used in schools as a sign of equity and inclusion but is more of a grooming tool by those adults that are supposed to have our children’s safety and well-being in mind. Peer pressure is bad enough without adding into the mix the option to change one’s gender. Parents must not let this happen without pushback! Be involved and informed on what your child’s school is teaching. Sorry if I have repeated myself in this post I just feel very strongly about protecting our most vulnerable, our children.

  25. This is more of a spiritual struggle than anything else. Old beliefs about what and who we are are breaking up. We are conscious spiritual beings first and foremost. That is what is struggling to be born. The sense that biology, body, chromosomes, DNA, etc. are the essence of what we are is finding its dead level. But, with this dawn of spiritual consciousness comes a responsibility to be true to the callings of conscience which lead us to this truer sense of what we are. There is no avoiding or sidestepping it. God is Spirit and Spirit’s demands are spiritual. There is no way to discern these demands except in the quiet cultivation of prayerful thought. I know this language is not fashionable. But, my experience has taught me that spiritual consciousness, the sense of God being with us, is what saves us from confusion and lifts us to a better place, to a higher and more authentic sense of who and what we are..

  26. Sharly, we appreciate your insights as always. The homosexual growth, to not only full acceptance but celebration, has been in the works since Kinsey’s report in 1948. However, I also question whether the onslaught of all the infant and childhood vaccines with all the crazy ingredients from animals and aborted children, polysorbate 80, etc, could be the cause of all the gender dysphoria. (I’m convinced they’re the reason for the 1 in 35 autism incidence, and the numerous childhood cancers, but I digress, and I have no intention of answering anyone who disagrees. I’m just giving the result of my multi-year research of them).

    It’s something that should be investigated, though never will be because vaccines are the “cash cow” for the manufacturers, aka Big Pharma, and the patent-holders, aka CDC, who has 59 vaccine patents when I checked many years ago, so could be more now. It’s tragic lawmakers, the people’s representatives, won’t investigate such things.

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